Laidback Nerd

Reflection

Here I am lying in bed listening to the squeak of the electric fan accompanied by the sound of the rain dropping on our roof. I feel sleepy and yet I can’t seem to doze off, must be the ganja I smoked earlier. I never had this silence for a while and this gave me the chance to think and reflect about the things happening in my life. A lot is going through my mind right now and I sort of think that I am having a mid-life crisis.

I recently submitted my letter of resignation for the company I worked for. The main reason is that I really don’t enjoy now what I am doing, then there are other factors like the incompetence of your co-workers or the fact that some of them talk shit behind my back. People with so little room for thinking are not allowed to become superiors in my opinion. I used to love what I was doing at work. Every day, I look forward to coming to work back then. I look forward to learning new things and discovering solutions to the problems that lay. And then after a couple of years, things started to get dull, work became monotonous and soon I realized that career growth was very slow. And since my original plan was to stay there for 5 years and last September I have achieved that goal, I think that it is time for me to move on.

My only concern now is whether I think I made the right choice or not. With my current job, we could somehow get by and manage to save a little. There’s a sense of financial security… somehow. What I am afraid of now is that I have no plans whatsoever after I resign. I want to take a break first before I find another job. I want a new line of work. I want to experience something new, something different. Then I found this car for sale online and it made me want to buy the car, the only solution I can think of is to sell my Nouvo and then get a 2-year loan from our cooperative. If I get that loan though, it would mean I have to extend my stay for 2 years. So I really need to think about whether I really like the car or not, because if I really want the car, I will convince myself that 2 years is not that long. But then I again, I think couldn’t even last a month at my work. See my dilemma?

The reason that I really can’t stay long now at my job is that our department is falling apart. Every one of us has a fault and people are scared enough to not face the problem or even bother to know what is wrong. I got a boss that is kind and understanding, sometimes too much for the departments good. Sometimes we need a boss that would reprimand our mistakes right? Then there’s this guy who has got nothing else to do but put blame on all the people that he can lay his sight on! Every time you hear his voice, you can just hear that he is blaming some other guy. Or rather he has a wise-ass comment about every other person in the department. An advice I could give him is that, if he has nothing good to say, better shut up. Who needs a superior that doesn’t give compliments to his guys? And then there’s this person who has a great inferiority complex who thinks that he is always right and that he could practically do what he pleases. He is never wrong. And for the rest, including me, we are just plain lazy! We slack off because we can. Who would want to work for such a department?

I just hope things will turn out good with my decision of leaving the company. I want to find a job where I don’t feel like I am doing a job but rather doing something I really like and getting paid for it.

In Life

[2005.04.12]

Withering
Hearts
In
Times of
Epidemia

Love
In
Everyone
Shines

Life

[2005.03.18]

Love
Is
For
Everybody

If
Someone you know

Praises you
And
Invites you
Never turn them down